uncut

2 more 10 footers on SM down (I dunno. I may or may not have passed them before) - both ITG songs. Fleadh Uncut EX and My Favourite Game EX (both long streams at relatively low speed). I should go do Paranoia Survivor and Paranoia Survivor Max Heavy soon - similar stuff, except with crossover runs at the end. I wonder if I can still do MAX300...

This screenshot is for Jonny -


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SIMC was tough. The math modelling problems were quite insane. On-site was a 2d restricted packing problem, aka berth allocation problem. It's like packing rectangles into a space defined by linear berth location and time, but some rectangles are only available after a certain period of time...

Now mugging Scholar's Cup. Not much to say...

jk.

lack of understanding

markov chains
0 order approximation
nondeterministic polynomial time function
random tree modelling
F(x,y) = F(y,z) + F(x,z) + 2z

grr..

i once said i'm not typically stressed by mental issues. so much for that.

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on a happier note, thanks to 3 of my close friends whom i spoke to today. thanks for your concern. yeah i will slow down after all of this. i know this lifestyle is way too busy for me to comfortably handle. it's going crazy.

jk.

two blades

you know there was once you said something to me.
something based around the words i said.
and then i didn't know how much my words impacted you.

now as we meet to talk again
i caught a hint from the tone of expression --
do you know how much your words impacted me?

i'm just feeling there's something wrong about all of this.

jk.

breaking point.

We bow our hearts, we bend our knees
O Spirit come make us humble
We turn our eyes, from evil things
O Lord we cast out our idols

So give us clean hands, give us pure hearts
Let us not lift our souls to another
Give us clean hands, give us pure hearts
Let us not lift our souls to another

O God let us be, a generation that seeks
That seeks Your face, O God of Jacob

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Primer's Retreat was an experience that I would describe as meaningful. I originally thought of the retreat as something to be enjoyed - in the end, I guess it turned out to be something largely to reflect on.

I spoke to Mr Chow about several things about abstract algebra. Essentially, he gave me a refresher on the Schaum's Outline on Modern Abstract Algebra that I read (or rather TRIED to read) through last year. After discussing a few simple questions, I'm starting to remember all the strange terms - 'ring', 'field', 'equivalence class' etc.

For me, the highlight - in fact the main part - of the entire Retreat was the Bible Study / Worship session on Friday night.

Sir spoke on humility and servant-leadership, following which some of the Primers commented, spoke and prayed about several things. What struck me the most was about doing the wrong things in relationships, and seeking forgiveness for them.

Lost in thought about a variety of issues, I was completely lost for words after the session, and stared at the floor of the then quiet and nearly empty Primer's Room while thinking through things after many people cleared out. I have to thank all of the people who checked on me, ensuring I was OK, for talking with me for "a while" (from 5 mins to almost 1 hour). Honestly, I appreciate all of it, even if it was short.

It was a... surreal, slightly disturbing yet eventually beautiful experience.

jk