Superlativeness

I thought of this question on the way home today. How do we judge people as 'very', 'extremely', 'reasonably' good, 'pro', 'excellent' etc.? Having reflected on lang arts and pod and what i've done in the past, nowadays I tend to avoid superlatives or even strong words like 'extremely'. For example, if you look at my ratings for the chinese yuedubiji, all are between 2 to 4 - there are strictly no 1s and 5s.

I wonder why.
Detachment.
Headaches.
Confusion w.r.t. Identity.
what?

Screwed up Australian Math Comp today. I think I'll get at least 25 marks deducted.

Sometimes I feel out of control of myself. I say I'll do something and yet I'll do another. I say "I'll finish 10 Chinese article reviews by the weekend" and I am content with 8, trying to rationalise it away by saying "you've done alot, and there's still time." Sometimes my moral conscience ingrates into me like crazy when it comes to certain situations - react pragmatically or ethically? The Geog students will know. I remember someone said that Mdm Sandra Sim "won't mind" if we (purposely) go late to the comp labs, and I know that seems to be true, but morally... it's just not right. Then again, going off ahead by myself, for some reason, isn't easy. More often than not, it seems just 'easier' to stay with the group.

Juzzie mentioned something about some difficulty he faced in his walk with God on his blog. Reading that did set me thinking about myself. What am I doing with the life God has given me? Have I been acting as I should? Why do I occasionally doubt His existence?

There's a piece of imagery that I'd like to share. Imagine yourself quietly sitting on a jetty, with the moon giving off a strange, dim light and the stars being relatively spaced out. Imagine external silence. Imagine you're all alone. Your legs dangle into the cool, refreshing water as you lie down to sleep, knowing that you're protected from exterior harm. Imagine, for a moment, that you could stay there forever.

I think I need the will; the strength to do what's right for God. Although there are quite a number of situations where I myself am confused about what's "right", there are some where I'm quite sure of what should be done, and as hard as it might be, I will need the strength to change myself for Him.

Please pray for me.

jk