fatigued

Displacement
Pushing downwards, against my inclination
Yet this is the course of action I've chosen to take;
Paths few have trod, trails few have walked -
In my eyes, they're there to take.

Some transverse standing waves form;
I know my efforts aren't going to waste.
Consequently, I keep going and going -
Forming more and more waves.

Finally, I stopped to take a break;
As magnified waves appeared and disappeared.
The weather was really too hot that day -
I wonder how through things I persevered.

The waves came back, reflected off somewhere.
The cool water splashed over me -
I felt a sense of relief,
Satisfied to some high degree.

But yet, I noticed, looking far in advance,
It wouldn't always be so.
For I could see the clouds above,
Beginning to merge and grow.

The rain fell much like bullets,
As the waves continued their motion.
Swirling, pushing,
Blazing a path devoid of emotion.

I knew that earlier I'd crossed the line;
Pushed and pushing too hard -
Yet "pain is weakness leaving the body".
I'll keep pushing, no matter how I'm scarred.
In conclusion to all of this,
I took this path expecting nothing but the least -
Yet, in it, found bliss.

today during physics i thought of a very strange metaphor for myself. yet i found it interesting.

we were studying interference patterns using a ripple tank. so i wondered. am i a dipper in a small ripple tank? the rationale for small is that the waves reflect back on me. in some ways it can be good that this happens (who would want to have their efforts totally unrecognised) but also bad in several ways (stress, headaches, etc). i want to push myself very hard even though i know that inside i want to slack as well. now that im somewhat feeling the pain of pushing (the reflected waves all coming back), i still find that pushing myself has become normal, a way of life that im starting to learn to somewhat appreciate.

i think that explains the poem above.

tired out.

my head hurts.

jk.