Dawn

I've decided that I might actually start penning down a few thoughts here and there here as well.

Much has changed since the last time I've written. Looking back, it has been about eight - or rather, slightly more than eight months since the last time I posted here. Since then many things about me have changed. I've lost weight, gained (and maybe lost some) friends, received IB results, etc.

Most clearly, on the surface, I have seemed to enter a new chapter of life, in the form of what I spend a large portion of my time doing. The challenges of the IBDP have passed and now I am in BMT, having traded the SAC for the cookhouse, TOKEECASIA for 5BXACBTPGAC, my subjects having changed somewhat from Physics HL and Economics SL to First Aid and Individual Fieldcraft, and my official designation from being in 5 or 6.14 for Quebec P2S3. The former chapter ended well; perhaps not as well as my terribly greedy ego wanted it to end, but I cannot deny that it ended well at all... I'll be hoping the latter will start and finish well as well.

At this juncture, indeed writing about various aspects of my school life that have been changed now that I am in BMT brings back many happy memories I had in school. I shall elaborate on this point later, where its relevance will become clearer.

It has indeed been a period of change, and thus facing such change I often seek stability; I'd think that would be natural among most people. I guess that's why "Admin Time" is very valuable to me - I end up spending most of my Admin Time on the phone, usually with my parents and then if time permits 1 other friend. Perhaps it might seem a little unusual for me to say this here since I have already been in BMT for three weeks, but I must say that I haven't fully settled in, though I believe I am coping reasonably well with the stresses of military life and training, and perhaps at times even found some enjoyment in it (PT before my shoulder blew up, and a certain part of arms drill - Lepaskan Sepering is honestly quite nice, IMO, if done well and in synchronisation).

Thinking about NS reminded me of a poem I've read in the past by Robert Graves - it's called Two Fusiliers and was one of the exam poems in Sec 4. The poem extols the nature of friendship between two soldiers at the warfront, claiming that such friendships surpass marriage (if I recall correctly the poem mentioned there being "no need of pledge or oath / to bind our lovely friendship fast" or something like that). While it's not within my expectation to develop such a strong friendship as discussed in the poem, bearing in mind the frequent use of lyricism and stereotypes in poetry (I know I'm generalising here), as well as due to the lack of the stimuli for friendship under those circumstances (forced interdependence or death, for example), I guess one thing which I hopefully will develop from NS would be friendships. This woud apply both to those in my Section and Platoon (most obviously), as well as even my friends outside of NS, or those who haven't enlisted yet and are going in in February or April. I'll see how this goes...

Anyway, today during "Bible Study"/Cell (which, honestly, the way things are going seems more appropriate, as meetings often are just worship with maybe a short sharing, and then prayer, then fellowship) the 7 (later 6 and then 5) of us were praying about various issues both on a micro level as well as on a macro level. My mind was thinking, and noticing a pattern in the previous prayers that had been made, I decided to follow the pattern as it would give a good framework for me to sort out my fairly disorganised thoughts with regards to various issues. The structure was fairly simple and would be something I'd have planned out anyway - an introduction, followed by micro and then macro-level prayer issues, followed by a conclusion. However, the importance of the introduction did not really occur to me...

Until it was my turn. I don't know why but upon reflecting on various issues that we had talked and then prayed about, such as the Haiti quakes and the political turmoil faced in some parts of the world, a sense of thanks, or rather gratefulness welled up in me. Perhaps the mentality of "I'm glad I'm not in the other position" is not a good one to adopt, but interestingly in that moment it did not occur to me that that statement might've been an implication of my emotion. Instead, I really felt thankful for God's blessings in my life, many of which are things that I've taken for granted. In a way, my 3 weeks in BMT may have led up to this lesson as well - having assumed that I'd have a comfortable bed, good food and the like, being forced to use a simple (though more than adequate) bed, and eat acceptable (OK would really be the best word for me to describe it) food has made me appreciate the good versions of these comforts. Perhaps having these comforts temporarily taken away has made me more able to appreciate their presence.

In any case, I learnt a lesson today - not one in the IB sense, such as how to perform implicit differentiation, nor one of BMT, such as rifle handling and stripping, but instead a spiritual lesson. Perhaps lesson might not even be the best word for it - reminder would be more appropriate, actually, given that this "lesson" by right would have been something I've learnt long ago. Anyway I do hope that I will remember this, to be thankful for what I have been blessed with.