Meaning and Existence

Tonight I will be blogging about the passage I'm reading tonight for Bible Study for I think it is quite relevant to me and what I have been doing for some time...

"Yet, when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun."
(Ecclesiastes 2:11)

The Yr 5 Orientation was a break from the standard 'mugging' that I would expect when in school, and to some extent it's given me time to think - although whether this is a good thing or not I'm not sure since it seems to have caused me to spout existential angst. Ecclesiastes 2 reflects quite a few things. At first, Solomon "undertook great projects" when he tried to find something "worthwhile for men to do under heaven during the few days of their lives". These projects largely refer to material possessions - "gardens", "parks", "silver and gold" etc, and also indirectly refer to the idea of gaining reputation and stature among the society. To some extent, though my greatness is very little compared to Solomon, I find this a parallel. I do set targets, some albeit ambiguous, in trying to make me feel my life and existence have been worthwhile - and yet, I've found that I'm rarely satisfied, possibly because either the achievement has little extra-symbolic value, or because of greed. In Sec 3, towards the end of the year I became an extremely hardcore mugger, sometimes studying for 6+ hours a day - in the end, I managed to receive six academic awards at Founders' Day in Sec 4. Still, now the six awards are just placed on a trolley near my front door, and I've derived little lasting satisfaction from obtaining them. Now, as I embark on the push for 44 IB points, will I really be satisfied in the end? For a more non-academic one, though more sensitive, I often think about and attempt to establish close friendships - and in some ways I've been able to succeed (somewhat subjective here), yet I don't feel thoroughly satisfied or fulfilled. Although this is eventually what Solomon recommended ("Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man." Eccl. 12:13), sometimes even as I pursue a vertical relationship with God I find that I rarely get thoroughly satisfied...

I'm not sure if I've posted about it before, but about 2 months ago, I was wondering about a verse I read in one of the Gospels, about the necessity for one to have faith like that of a child to enter the kingdom of heaven. I don't know how this is related or anything, but as I wrote the preceding paragraph that idea came back to me...

Anyway, Solomon then discusses the meaninglessness of wisdom and folly - stating that both of them will die anyway, and they will "not be long remembered". Still, Solomon says that "wisdom is better than folly, just as light is better than darkness." I'm not sure if this comparison is a precursor to the New Testament in some extent - because, with wisdom granted from God, we will be able to understand that we should believe in Him and follow Him. The contrast of light and darkness used possibly serves as some kind of parallel to the contrast of our eternal fates should we believe in Jesus and should we not. He then also brings the concept of toil into the picture, and questions why we work so hard to achieve earthly achievements - because, in most cases such as material possessions, we'll eventually have to hand the products of these achievements down to someone else - and who knows if that person is a "wise man or a fool"? This leads to him encouraging us to enjoy our lives, treating our time on Earth as a blessing and a gift from God. Solomon notably emphasises the importance of our 'link' with God, in the rhetorical question used ("for without Him (God), who can eat or find enjoyment?" Eccl. 2:25).

There are many other disorganised thoughts that came to my mind as I read this chapter, but seeing as this is in the public domain I don't think I should be posting many of these said thoughts here.

jk