Imperishable Night

I probably will be very sleepy tomorrow...

0000 - 0100 Physics Round II Part II
0100 - 0130 break, bathe
0130 - 0300 IHS Round I Part I
0300-- Sleep

4 - no, 3 - days left before the exams begin, and it's about time to take stock of how prepared I think I am for each paper, as at this moment.

Day 1
IHS: I have not done a thing. DIE. 0/10
Larts 1: It's Unseen. Not like I can prepare very much. I just need to reread my more recent commentaries, and remember to stick strongly by PEEP while explaining everything out nicely. 6/10

Day 2
Core Maths I: Should be okay... hopefully. I have no idea how Mr Leek will twist the topics, but it will be arguably interesting to see how he does so. 7/10
Physics I and II: I have gone through this subject 1.5 times, yet I still cannot retain most of the information. Ouch. 5/10

Day 3
Language Arts II: Poems, for I'm staying away from Four Continents. Seriously, the key poems I think are Owen's Dulce et Decorum est, Graves' Two Fusiliers, Tennyson's Brook and Bridges' Hill Pines. I will also look at a few others that deal with subversion - Thomas' Children's Song and Shakespeare's Shall I Compare Thee? - as well as some primarily craftsmanship based poems like Marvell's Coy Mistress, Rossetti's Sonnet and Clare's I Am.
I hope I can do Dulce and Mistress - I've analysed both of the poems in some detail before. 6/10
Chemistry: Gone through once, did quite a few practices, but still... shaky. 6/10

Day 4
A Math I: Hmm. I've done quite a bit of practice, churned out quite-good-but-not-uber-pro results. Haven't got anything above 95 for all the practices, so I'm still a bit rusty. 5/10
Geog: bah. I've only done Population, one topic out of the four that I plan to do. 2/10

Day 5
Core Math II: Similar to CM I. Just see. 7/10
Language B: I got egoboosted after doing the Chinese Practice Paper and pulling a 29.5/30 score for the Comprehensions. But I have no idea on how to do a skilful compo and written response yet, so it's high but not great yet. 8/10

Day 6
A Math II: See AM I. 5/10

Day 7
Computer Studies: My goodness. I have much revision to do, and must prepare for whatever long Essay Question there will be in the paper. I'm also going for 100, further complicating the matter of things... 4/10

There you have it. Now time to bathe and then back to IHS...

jk

Intertwined Ropes

I don't know if I should love you or not.

Though you seem to be very nice to me
And it's indeed good that you've been a listening ear
-- very understanding, helpful, kind
I don't know.

Somehow I seem to hear overtones of insincerity
Perhaps it's a result of all the mugging;
mugging on both sides.
I'm trying not to point the finger at you
But I somehow just think something is wrong.
seriously.

jk

mugging season

to irs

it's mugging season!
that time of year
where some students start revising
others take target at existing papers
and angst when they pull 82.13755

that time of year
when some heap on the pressure
others tell us to relax gently
and still exude some mystic aura

that time of year
when we read about glorification
others condemning the same subject in war
and in nature, in algebra, in itself

that time of year
when some people cry a tear or two
others offering comforting words
and perhaps veil their own stress

ah, that time of year
when we all need some reassurance
so this poem goes out to you from me.

thanks.
jk

I was talking to Kevin, Shaun and Kyle to some extent with regard to the concept of mugging today. I have also discussed this issue with Hsieh Wen before.

"If I don't mug, I'll DIE." - Shaun Lee
Why do we mug?

For purposes of this discussion, I have delimited mugging as referring to intensive, thorough, large-scale and often mindless memorisation of facts, formulas and concepts in preparation for an upcoming exam. The term mugger here has been defined as referring to one who practices mugging to a greater extent than a large, arbitrary proportion of students in the class. Hence, by my definition one who studies consistently throughout the year, but does not carry out an arbitrarily disproportionate amount of revision in an arbitrary period leading up to the exams is not considered as a mugger.

Despite being often regarded as a mugger, I am actually against the concept of mugging, for several reasons.

Firstly, the practice of mugging often leads to large amounts of stress, which can lead to poorer retention; this poorer retention can stress the student more ad infinitum. This stems largely from personal experience, and possibly also from my dealings with some fellow muggers.

Secondly, mugging and the present examination system are based primarily on three things - memorisation of facts, application of concepts and application of critical thinking. I am fine with the second and third; but often, the memorisation of facts is needless once one passes the exam. For example, take a look at a Chem question I picked out of one of the practice papers:

If I react potassium(VI) dichromate with chlorine gas, what colour will it change to?
(A) green (B) orange (C) blue (D) colourless

I know the answer is A because of my mugging; then again, in the distant future (university, or if i get a job in which I need to know this), I can look the information up in the Internet easily - hence why would I need to know this? Perhaps an understanding of how redox reactions work is useful, but this factoid?

Thirdly, the present examination system, in my opinion, is not a very good reflection of a student's ability in the subject, especially with subjects where the practical work one does professionally in the future is likely to be very different. In my opinion, laboratory practicals are a step in the right direction; yet, a large percentage of marks are still awarded to and can be earned by a person who mindlessly mugs.

Finally, there are other factors that influence one's performance in an exam that have little to do with the subject itself - for example the presence of "exam smarts". Typical MCQ strategies come to mind, such as Seng Wei's Theorem of Cloze Passages for Chinese (choose the most complicated answer) or the principle of contradiction (if there are two diametrically opposite choices, the answer is probably one or the other). This actually ties in largely with the previous point about written examinations not being a very accurate reflection.

Now I have put forth all these points against mugging and the exam system, you might be wondering - if I bash mugging so much, why do I still engage in it? If I question the exam system so much, why do I still care to compete on it? Well, I shall now explain this...

Though I believe that the examination system is not a very good reflection of the student's ability to perform professionally, there appears to be a lack of a feasible alternative. Jarrel has suggested attachments - and though I think that these are significantly better in measuring a student's grasp of concepts and connections, it is s probably not feasible due to the sheer volume of students who are taking a certain subject at our level, as well as the liabilities the relevant companies might incur if they accepted hapless candidates who might cause trouble to the company.

Hence, seeing that the exam system is about the best feasible system I can conceive, I think it is more pragmatic to merely go with the flow and mug rather than oppose it; this seems to hint of "If you can't beat them, join them". Though there have been mentions about muggers merely showing a facade of knowledge and understanding, and this can be valid, I find that the sad reality is that this facade is important as it can affect where we go for our tertiary education, and in doing so possibly affect what others might think of us ("o.o he's an Oxford graduate. super pro."). Notice the repeated theme of appearance and reality here - we seem to create appearance for appearance, because not creating the appearances can make others believe that we are inferior to those who do.

It seems to remind me, to some extent, of the game of the prisoner's dilemma in game theory. This is based on three big assumptions and simplifications - that reality is better than appearance, appearance will outshine reality and that our realities and appearances are similar in level. We reach the Nash equilibrium of (appearance, appearance), for we are afraid that showing the reality might produce a poorer result to our competitor; and in doing so, we miss out on the globally optimal point of (reality, reality).

Hence, I guess it will be back to mugging for me.

jk

Presentation of the Self

I remember vaguely this discussion with Gideon, Henry, Rene and Adwyn in the canteen one day after school. They (mainly Gideon) were talking about methods of 'talking', but I think it can be generalised to 'presentation'.

Essentially, the argument, or at least the part I listened to, went like this:
When I talk to A, I talk in a way a.
When I talk to B, I talk in a different way b.
When I talk to A and B, I talk in a way c that can be different from a and b.

Interestingly true.

Crossroads

Sometimes it's hard for me to understand
Why we pull away from each other so easily,
Even though we're all walking the same road
Yet we build dividing walls between our brothers and ourselves.

But I, I don't care what label you may wear
If you believe in Jesus you belong with me.
The bond we share is all I care to see
And we'll change the world forever
If you will join with me - join and sing, sing;

(chorus)
You're my brother, you're my sister, so take me by the hand
Together we will work until He comes again;
There's no foe that can defeat us when we're walking side by side.
So long as there is love, we will stand.

The day will come when we will be as one,
And with a mighty voice together we will proclaim
That Jesus, Jesus is King.
It will echo through the earth;
It will shake the nations, and the world will see,
See that...

(chorus)

I like the song. ^
Interestingly many of the Christian songs that I 'liked' seem to be medium paced and have either themes of deliverance or brotherhood in them.

I spent a total of about 8 hours on the PoD essay, but now it's finished. Mr Bernard Taylor said the first round one was good other than a minor point or two with regard to Pascal's Wager - the application of mathematical decision theory to whether one should believe in God or not. In my opinion, it doesn't really work despite its deductive validity - because belief in God should, as far as I know, be out of faith, rather than self-interest.

On a semi-not-really-side note, thank you Juzzie, Sam Chan, Russell, and many others who have helped calm me down over the pre-exam period. Sometimes, just providing a listening ear really helps.

shoot for 150.

For Russell, Sam Chan and Jason:

(Text: The Irrationality of Management or something like that)

Go try the test at www.typingtest.com. My fingers hurt.

Interestingly, a lot of skilled typists use the Dvorak keyboard layout that I do not understand well, but maybe just because I'm too used to it. Like how neither Russell nor I can use a Mac efficiently, why Jarrel prefers C while I prefer Java, or why I can sketch graphs better than draw other objects - familiarity and practice, it seems.

PoD essay is really ingratiating. I've been trying to write on Theism and Nihilism, but it's quite a mess. I don't really 'get' Absurdism, and Existentialism is going to give me headaches writing. It took me about 7-8 hours in Term 1 to digest Idealism and Absolute Idealism and write that essay (read: Hegel, Marx and Nietzsche), and I have no idea how long its going to take me to digest these.

if i disappeared
became merely a vapor tossed in the wind
would there be anything different? of course the physical landscape would change.
but on any other levels? any other planes?

jk

Belated Melody

Amazingly, I totally forgot to post about it until reading a few other peoples' blogs.

Teacher's Day. A day where we're supposed to honour those who have been (at least supposedly) imparting a wealth of knowledge to us. It passed seven days ago, and yet I have not posted about it. How bad of me =(

To my CT and current Chem teacher, I admittedly feel somewhat intrigued by you. Thank you for your teaching, and your patient explanations of various concepts to me. Though it might not have been your intention, thank you for the occasional bit of refreshing humour you provide in class - it can really help refresh my day sometimes, especially if I'm feeling stony. Thank you for handling my rather esoteric O Level request as well.

To my PCT and Geog teacher for 2 years, I have learnt much from you, both in and out of the context of Geography. It has been really interesting learning from you and I would definitely like to thank you for that.

To my C Math teacher this year, though I was initially rather unsettled, I have developed quite a lot of respect for you. Though it might not be so explicit, I have realised that you really care for the class and the welfare of all the students. Your dedication and determination probably has rubbed off on some of the students. I know that I have not always been paying attention during C Math. I am sorry for that - I never knew you were so concerned. Thanks a lot.

To my A Math teacher this year, it has indeed been a pleasure discussing many things with you, both within and outside the field of mathematics. Your smile has indeed helped us through the large volume of practices there is to be done; and though I'm quite sure most of us find it taxing, it probably will pay off in the end. It's also quite rare to have a teacher who will patiently explain why marks were deducted or could not be awarded for impressionistic work, so thank you.

To my Physics teacher for 2 years, you have made me learn much both within the context of physics and outside of that. Though it may appear that people might not be so interested in your lessons, rest assured that there are those who do. Furthermore, the efficiency of the out-of-lesson consultations I have had with you has really been high. Thank you. It's also nice to know that there is actually a teacher that I can hug. <3

To my IHS teacher, your comments during lessons have always been quite interesting. Thank you for allowing me to have the honour of timekeeping the IHS presentations, and also for the support you have given me during the IHS project. I have also learnt a bit about discipline through my knowledge of you in the BB.

To my Lang Arts A teacher, in my opinion I believe that it takes a skilled teacher to make a student who dislikes the text like it - and that's what you have done. Hamlet, Polonius, Laertes and his contagious blastments will remain etched in my memory for quite a while, in a good way. Thank you for the support during IOC, and also for the very interesting discourses we've had during your lessons.

To my Lang Arts B teacher, your emphasis on the process rather than product has indeed been a refreshing change from what much of academics appears to emphasise. Indeed, I have come to know you as one who cares for the welfare of his students and is forgiving, yet assertive and reasonable. Thank you.

To my POD teacher, I admit that lessons have been somewhat dry at times - yet, you have tried hard to keep them interesting. Your propensity and willingness to accept the occasional logical flaw or loophole is also very intriguing.

To my Chinese teacher, I really have much to say. Thank you so much for understanding my predicament, and being there to calm me down during the O Level Release of Results. Thank you for being understanding with homework, especially for this subject that I find it tough to cope with. Thank you for your forgiveness with regard to my fickleness in choosing whether to take the O Levels or not. Finally, thank you for showing some confidence in me, and encouraging me when I hand in a good piece of work.

To my Comp Studies teacher, it has indeed been... interesting working with you, and though I probably will not be taking Comp Studies next year, the 1 year that you've spent teaching me has been fairly productive. Thank you.

I'm going back to writing LArts B.
bye.

jk

Some Thoughts

I just feel lost. I can't really decide what I should be doing now, who I should associate myself with, who I should look for, where I should be.

My mind is blank.

jk